My friend said it out of nowhere. “There's a wedding today. Come.”
This bride and groom already had five children together.
And I had no gift.
In my village, many couples have their wedding years after their children are born.
In my village in Mozambique, many couples live as a family for years before they register the marriage. The couple I filmed in 2024 had five children. Maybe they needed a marriage certificate, maybe they wanted the ceremony. It meant a cow, a goat and many chickens, so they worked for about a year to save for it.
01 — The invitation“There's a wedding today, come”
Where do you find a wedding gift at such short notice? In my part of Mozambique, it turns out, you can.
The area where I live was developing. There was already a big gift shop, like the gift shops at home in Bangladesh. We bought our gifts there and had them wrapped.
I had lived in this village for about five years by then. I knew nearly everyone. But I had never seen the cooking and the food of a wedding here.
It had rained for two or three days. We set off through villages still wet from it.
Their day had begun somewhere else. First they went to a big church in the district town, which has a registry office, and registered there. Then everyone came by car, with the groom's party, to the local church in our village. The couple are Christian.
02 — The church yardCars dressed for a wedding, and an invitation to cook
The first thing I saw was the cars. Lots of them, all decorated.
The one the bride and groom came in from church was covered all over. Guests kept arriving from the towns. On the empty ground beside the church they had put up a marquee, a pandal as we say at home. That is where the wedding was.
Dancing had started on one side. So I slipped off to see what was cooking.
Chicken. Something on the grill. In went a seasoning they call tempero, then black pepper. It was a big event, with food for a crowd.
The cook asked me how we cook in my country. I told her our food is much hotter. “You couldn't eat it.”
So she called me over. “Come, cook!”
“If I cook,” I said, “it will be too hot for you.”
03 — The ceremonySongs I couldn't understand, and a sermon some slept through
The bride and groom sat in front, with their children beside them. Then the groups started coming in.
One group from the groom's side. One from the bride's side. Sometimes the school friends of the couple's own children. Each group walked in singing its own song, to greet and congratulate the couple. Most of them were women.
The songs had a meaning, but I didn't understand them. They weren't in Portuguese. They were songs in the local language of the villages.
Then came the advice. It reminded me of how our maulanas give a waz. The speakers read many Bible verses to the couple. Everyone listened. Many people were falling asleep.
At the end, they stood someone up from the bride's side and asked: do you give your daughter? Then someone from the groom's side: do you receive her?
Then the vows. It was like our kabul. “I will keep her as my wife, in my life and death, in danger and in trouble.” And the same from her, for him.
An elder read to them, a “father”, I think. Fathers like him are brought in from the big churches. A board went up with the bride's and groom's names on it. Everyone sang and prayed, the way we would sing a ghazal.
The bride and groom signed. Then others signed. The last signature was the priest's.
04 — After the vowsThe groom's name in front, the bride's name behind
The villagers were delighted with one guest in particular. Me.
Foreigners don't usually come to their weddings. People were telling each other about it. The celebration had been going for three or four days. Someone was serving guests from a huge bowl, a drink made from flour, the way we serve sherbet.
They invited me to eat. There was chicken and beef. The meat might not have been halal, so I didn't eat.
The couple shook hands with the villagers. The main guests shook hands and hugged. A carpet was laid out to the cars, and there were photos.
Then a dance troupe in red and white dresses, brought just to dance. And the cars filled up for a procession around the area.
On every car, the number plate had the groom's name on the front and the bride's name on the back.
I followed on my motorbike. Three or four cars rolled out onto the road for a proper show. They went round the crossroads and came back. Then the whole group went to the high school ground next door, because it is green and the photos come out well.
Three of the children in those photos were theirs. Of the other two, I had seen one earlier. The eldest, a boy of about 15, I never saw that day.
That was the most interesting thing for me. Here, couples come to marry, to register and to do every formality with their children in tow.
05 — 2024, in a parkWhere city couples go instead: a park full of weddings
Not one wedding. Not two. A whole park of them, all at once.
In the village there is no park, so couples do a round on the road. In the city, couples go to a park or a beach for photos. In 2024 I saw what that looks like.
Saturdays and Sundays are when most weddings happen here. That day, couple after couple arrived in one park, each with their own song. One group came in, and another was right behind it. There was a queue.
One group was watching me. The moment I pointed my camera at them, their traditional wedding dance began.
The main wedding happens somewhere else, at a club or at home. The park is just for the photos.
The funniest sight that day: someone standing so still that I thought it was a statue. It was a living statue.
Wedding cars kept arriving. A Range Rover. A Mercedes-Benz.
I filmed one group's dance. They asked to see the quality. Then they all held on to me until the video was on their phones.
06 — The questionWhy marry after five children?
Their eldest child was over 15. And the wedding was only happening now.
Here, that is how it goes in most cases. The children grow up, and the marriage is still not registered.
Then maybe a marriage certificate is needed somewhere, for some need, or for social reasons. That is when they hold the ceremony.
I have seen it many times, and not only in villages. In the towns too, I have seen people register their marriage and hold the ceremony in old age.
Why the church? At home, a wedding happens in a club, or in the yard of a house with space. Maybe their house didn't have the space. So the church yard became the wedding venue.
07 — The customBefore any wedding, you go to her mother
To marry a girl here, the first person you go to is her mother.
That is the formal custom. You go to the girl's mother and propose. If the mother agrees, the parents may ask for something.
Not a dowry. More like what we call kabinnama or denmohor. Both sides agree in their own way. Only then does the wedding come.
Two years earlier, at a wedding in 2022, I heard an MC put it his own way. It was in a packed hall with balloons, flowers and a bride in a white gown. I sat among the guests near the front.
The MC held the microphone and spoke to the couple and their families. “So to marry is to win someone.” To the groom: “Because of you, your family is happy today!” And to everyone: “But girls are not something you take for free. They have a value too.”
Of the bride, he said she was the light of the house, “all night, all life”. To the mothers: “You are winning through this marriage!” And: “God has been merciful to you. God will be more merciful.”
When it was time, I asked if I could take a photo with the couple, and leave. “Of course you can take photos. We have no objection.” As I shook hands to go, I heard: “It would have been nice if you had stayed a little longer.”
08 — The couple's storyThe tin shop by the road
After I left the wedding, someone told me the couple's story. I found it very motivating.
By the road there is a very small shop. Tin on all four sides. Tin on the roof.
The husband and wife ran it together. Onions, tomatoes, cabbage, a few vegetables. A few spices, soap and oil, in very small amounts. What they earned there paid for the household, day by day. Nothing more.
Then, for about a year, nobody saw them in the area.
The locals told me they had closed the shop. The wife had gone to Zimbabwe, the neighbouring country, for work. The husband had gone to the town to look for a job.
Maybe they needed the ceremony. Maybe they simply wished for it. I don't know which. But a wedding here costs a lot. That day, a cow was slaughtered, and a goat, and many chickens.
So for about a year, husband and wife worked apart and saved. With those savings, they held their wedding.
“If you try, everything is possible. Where there's a will, there's a way.”
WatchCome to the wedding with me
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FAQQuestions people ask about weddings in Mozambique
Why do some couples in Mozambique marry after having children?
In my village, many couples live as a family for years and register the marriage later, for example when a marriage certificate is needed or they want the ceremony. The couple I filmed in 2024 had five children, and I have seen people in towns register in old age too.
What happens at a village wedding in Mozambique?
At the Christian wedding I filmed, groups came in singing local songs, speakers gave advice and read from the Bible, someone from each family was asked if they give and receive the bride, and the couple made their vows and signed. Then came food, photos, a car procession and more photos on the school ground.
Who do you ask first to marry a girl in Mozambique?
In my village, the custom is to propose to the girl's mother first. If she agrees, the parents may ask for something, more like our denmohor than a dowry, and both sides agree before the wedding.
What do the couple do after the ceremony?
At the wedding I filmed, they shook hands with the guests, walked over a carpet to the cars and went round the area in a procession. Every number plate had the groom's name on the front and the bride's on the back. Then they took photos on the high school ground.
Why do couples in Mozambique take wedding photos in parks?
In the city, the main wedding is at a club or at home, and couples come to a park just for the photos. On the day I went, many couples arrived in one park, each with their own song and dance.
Did you eat the wedding food?
No. They invited me, but the chicken and beef might not have been halal, so I didn't eat.
How did the couple pay for their wedding?
Their wedding meant a cow, a goat and many chickens. For about a year the wife worked in Zimbabwe and the husband looked for work in town, and they used their savings to hold the wedding.